Ron Weasley Must Die
by A. K. Coxon
Summary: Ron Weasley. The man. It's like he tumbled headfirst out of the pages of Witch Weekly through the Hogwarts gates and in to the affections of literally every girl in our year. He can make a girl swoon with the flutter of his ridiculously long eyelashes, or incite a girl fight with a look. He's some sort of god in our year, far too big for his boots, and this is the story of how we
1. Madame Puddifoot's

It was my sixth year of Hogwarts before I realised I was truly anonymous. It wasn't like I wasn't noticed, I was. But no one really knew my name. I spent my free time by the lake reading while my peers walked past, laughing with friends over the subject of the latest gossip. I was never even close to being popular, not once. I was a muggle born, thrown in to a world of wands and spells, and with that I studied hard just to get the basics. I wasn't a perfect witch, but at least I was one. I was suddenly a social outcast, and I never really did get the hang of making friends. I wasn't pretty like the girls in my year, and this fact cost me popularity as well as friends. School was a blur of reading, classes and bed, and my life seemed to never change from this routine I was stuck into from the word go, kind of unfairly.

But anyway, it's not like this story is even about me. It's about him. That's why you're interested, isn't it? The name in the title, the boy on the cover. That's who you are here for.

Ron Weasley.

The man.

It's like he tumbled headfirst out of the pages of Witch Weekly through the Hogwarts gates and in to the affections of literally every girl in our year. He can make a girl swoon with the flutter of his ridiculously long eyelashes, or incite a girl fight with a look. He's some sort of god in our year, far too big for his boots, and this is the story of how we killed him.

We're going back a few months now, but it all started when I got a weekend job at Madame Puddifoot's tea shop. Madam Puddifoot was a nice stout woman in her late fifties, and always made sure I had a nice scone to eat in my break. One Saturday in December I was working for a couple of hours and I had my first interaction with Ron. He was sat on a pink and lace covered table, running his hands through his bright red hair. On his wrist was a chunky watch, and if you looked closely the hands were Chudley Cannon players flying around the face, shouting the time every half an hour. He was looking out the window where some third years were pointing and blushing at him. He cockily blew a kiss and they ran away screaming, their pigtails flying behind them as they left footprints in the snow. He was wearing a cool blue long sleeved shirt with brown jeans, and his face was neatly shaven. I could see why so many girls fell over him, and as I walked up to his table, trying hard to move in between the small spaces between seats, I found my heart beating faster than it ever had done before.

"Can I take your order?" I asked. He turned his head to face me and looked me up and down. Urgh. He smiled and held up a hand, which was still lightly tanned from all the hours he played quidditch in the summer.  
"Give me a minute, I'm waiting for someone" he said. I smiled at him, curtsied and walked away, turning back when I got to the counter, kicking myself for curtsying. What the hell? Did my brain just completely disconnect? What an idiot.

The ding of the bell signalled a customer, and I knew it was Ron's date arriving.

Romilda Vane walked in to Madame Puddifoots with a slight wiggle in her walk and an extremely short skirt. She was tall, not as tall as Ron but taller than all the other girls, definitely. She had long, curly black hair and was physically dominant and totally scary. She was the captain of the Hogwarts performing arts club, a prefect and she also ran a club for the younger Gryffindor girls in the evenings, teaching them to apply makeup and lure men. It kind of made sense that she'd be with a guy like Ron. He was on the Quidditch team and was a favourite of all the teachers, apart from Snape of course. He could get away and get with anyone he wanted, and he was adored for his incredible cockiness, and she was the queen bee. Fierce, dominating and totally different from me.

Romilda sat down next to Ron and kissed him on the cheek. He grinned and kissed her back, but this time on the lips. I brushed a stray hair back and pushed my ponytail a little higher. Madame Puddifoot, or Elsie, as she allowed me to call her after ten weeks of working there, directed me towards the table, and I reluctantly went, cursing her as I did so.  
"Can I get you anything?" I said. Ron and Romilda looked up and Romilda rolled her eyes a little. It was then I noticed that I had a smudge of flour on my shirt. I sighed. Ron shushed Romilda from beginning to speak and began to place both their orders.  
"I'll have a black coffee, two sugars with a cheese and onion Panini, and my lady will have a tea, milk, no sugars because she is sweet enough and a Caesar salad please" he said.  
"Ok, I'll get that for you" I said, writing the order down on the tiny notebook that was hidden in my apron.  
"I love it when you do that" Romilda said as I turned away.

"I love doing that" Ron said, leaning forward to give her a kiss.

The next Saturday I was working again, catering to the many male students wanting to impress a girl by buying them tea. Harry Potter, Ron Weasley's best friend was sat with a girl I think was called Cho, but by the way his date left him with a full glass of chocolate milkshake poured over his face I'd guess he wasn't as good with girls as he thought. Ron Weasley walked through the door, and the bell announced his arrival. I looked at him as he entered. His walk was wide and powerful, and his clingy t-shirt left no one wondering what was beneath it.  
"Urgh" the girl who worked with me, Vicky Frobisher groaned. Vicky worked alternate weekends because she was always at Charms Club. She was a nice girl and I found myself liking her even more when she had warmed to me after the first couple of weeks. She was a bit frosty when we first met, but now she regarded me as one of her friends and kept me informed of the gossip.

"Not a fan of our keeper then?" I asked with a smirk, tying my bushy hair back.  
"Err, no" she said with a grimace. Her blonde hair was plaited and dangling over her right shoulder, and she began to play with the ends as she leaned back on the counter. Another tingling of the bell meant that Ron's date had arrived, and I looked up from the counter's surface to the door.

I was somewhat surprised, not entirely shocked to find out that not only was Ron Weasley an arrogant idiot, he also appeared to be a cheater as well. This week's date was Lavender Brown, a nice but dumb girl who devoted her free time on stupid causes, such as "more dances for the sixth years" and "more salads at dinner". She pretended to be a vegetarian, but on many occasions at the feasts I'd seen her shovelling chicken on to her plate, sometimes leaving none for anyone else. She was pretty-ish, with a little bit of a pudgy face and long curly hair. She was alright, I guess. Not really his type though. She sat down beside him, stroking his arm as she did so. Vicky rolled her eyes.

"You got this table?" she asked me, well rather told me. It was clear she wanted nothing to do with Ron or his date, and I made a mental note to ask her about it when I got back. I made my way to the table and had the blankest expression on my face as I took this pig's order. I had nothing against Ron until now. That poor, unsuspecting girl.

"What will it be?" I asked.

"Two scones please. And hold the cream" he said, looking straight at Lavender and blanking me. I narrowed my eyes at him. Lavender I knew was a vegan, but Ron... Ron was the guy who just last week had a cheese and onion Panini and the week before a big, hot milky latte. So, on my list of bad qualities Ron Weasley possesses, besides being a cheater, a liar and arrogant, he was now a fake. Lavender cooed at how much he cared for her beliefs as I wrote the order down, my teeth grinding together. I walked back to the counter and put the order through. Vicky was back at the counter, sipping on her ice tea.  
"Can you believe that guy?" I asked her, my rage boiling over.  
"He's such an idiot" Vicky said. "He's a total player"

I nodded. She was right. Ron Weasley was a pig headed moron who thought he was the best thing since sliced bread. Well he was wrong.

The order came through and I picked it up. Vicky wouldn't even touch it. I took it over and Ron winked at me, looking me up and down. In my head, I was sick. But in my stomach, I was swarming with butterflies.


	2. Potions

p class="MsoNoSpacing"The next two weeks from when I first served Ron Weasley were… uneventful. I went to class in the week and work at the weekend, him and all three of his girlfriends. Aside from the two I've already mentioned, Romilda and Lavender, Ron had another girlfriend who had no idea about the other two. Parvati Patil, the school's star pupil had been sat at the small, pink table in the corner by the window, just like all the other girls, and had fallen for that devious smile and those untrusting eyes. Pavarti was a member of almost every club you could imagine, Professor Slughorn's star potions pupil and, if rumour is correct has tea with McGonagall every Saturday to discuss the unimaginable. She was far to smart to fall for Ron Weasley's lines, but there she was, tripping over his stupid lines like all the others before her./p  
p class="MsoNoSpacing" /p  
p class="MsoNoSpacing"It was only in Potions when things came to a boiling point. Up until then, Ron had done a great job keeping his girlfriends from talking. He'd say to them anything they want to hear, and then ask them to keep their relationship private so they can really get to know each other and fall in love before they told the whole school. But it would never get that far./p  
p class="MsoNoSpacing" /p  
p class="MsoNoSpacing"I was sat on a table with Pavarti and Romilda, as Slughorn wanted to "mix it up a bit" this week. Next to Romilda was another member of the Hogwarts preforming arts club, Fay Dunbar. They were chatting away, and Pavarti was too busy scribbling to notice. Lavender was sat just behind Romilda, and this would later prove to be a devastating combination. Slughorn couldn't have placed them better if he'd tried./p  
p class="MsoNoSpacing"Ron, by the way, was at extra quidditch practice as the game was coming up. Gryffindor were playing Ravenclaw, and seeing the team line up this year for Ravenclaw had sent the Gryffindor's panicking. The team were cramming practice in here there and everywhere, and it was this absence and over confidence on Ron's part that bought his lies crashing down./p  
p class="MsoNoSpacing" /p  
p class="MsoNoSpacing""So, he took me to Madame Puddifoots on Saturday and actually told me he was falling in love with me!" Romilda said to Fay, which grabbed Lavender's attention. She was a renowned gossip, and couldn't resist hearing who Romilda was going out with./p  
p class="MsoNoSpacing""Really? Ron actually said that?" Fay asked, smiling. br / "Yeah. But keep it quiet, no one can know I'm dating THE Ron Weasley!"/p  
p class="MsoNoSpacing"Lavender's face turned crimson as she turned round and flicked a dead frog at Romilda's head. We were meant to be cutting off their legs and using them in a potion, but Lavender had other ideas. The frog hit Romilda's neck and slid down, landing with a thud on the floor. She whipped round and pointed a perfectly manicured finger at / "What the hell do you think you're doing?" She asked./p  
p class="MsoNoSpacing""Sorry" Lavender said maliciously. "It was an accident. br / Romilda turned back around and another frog hit her on her shoulder, flopping over the side. Romilda brushed it off with a squeal, and Lavender grinned. br / "That was no accident!"/p  
p class="MsoNoSpacing""Yeah well Ron's mine! Stay away from him!"br / Romilda got out her want and Lavender did the same. Slughorn was deliriously eating a crystallized pineapple, and so didn't see an argument brewing. Pavarti, who had only just snapped up from her work was unaware of the topic, and tried to block Romilda and Lavender's jinxes./p  
p class="MsoNoSpacing""Girls! No boy is worth fighting over!"/p  
p class="MsoNoSpacing""Whatever Pavarti, Ron's mine!" Romilda said./p  
p class="MsoNoSpacing"Pavarti's jaw dropped and she got her wand out too. She quickly cast a jinx at Romilda, but she moved too fast. Suddenly a huge wand fight broke out, and I quickly jumped in to split it apart. There was biting and shoving, curses and jixes and Slughorn was still none the wiser. I had no idea why he was a teacher. Unfortunately for us, McGonagall had been walking past and heard the commotion./p  
p class="MsoNoSpacing"We all, Lavender, Romilda, Pavarti and me, got detention./p  
p class="MsoNoSpacing" /p  
p class="MsoNoSpacing"Naturally, I was the first to turn up. Another girl was in the room singing to herself. She didn't hear me come in. She was singing a popular song made famous by the Weird Sisters, and only stopped when I put my bag on the table. br / "Sorry" I said. br / "You frightened me" she said, laughing./p  
p class="MsoNoSpacing""So, where is everybody?" I asked. She looked at me blankly. "Detention?"/p  
p class="MsoNoSpacing""You came early to detention?" She asked. br / "Wouldn't want to miss a minute of being, um, detained" I said, and she laughed. "It's all stupid Ron Weasley's fault anyway"br / "Oh. Thought all the girls were after him?"/p  
p class="MsoNoSpacing""Not this girl. Why aren't you? What's your 'I Hate Ron' reason?"/p  
p class="MsoNoSpacing""I don't hate him, hes just my older brother" She said. I felt stupid. Of course he was her brother. They both had the same flame red hair and devious look in their eye. br / "Oh. I mean"br / "No, don't worry about explaining, I'm sure you have reason to hate him"/p  
p class="MsoNoSpacing"I nodded./p  
p class="MsoNoSpacing""Fair enough. I'm Ginny by the way"/p  
p class="MsoNoSpacing""Hermione Granger" I replied, shaking her hand. She smiled as she put her bag over her shoulder. br / "Enjoy being detained" she said, walking out the room./p  
p class="MsoNoSpacing" /p 


End file.
